If you can't say anything nice....

don't say anything at all. I should follow that advice today because I have had nothing but mean thoughts in my head since I woke up this morning. I love my job....why do I let the stress and the complaining get to me? I guess it's because I'm human...just like the people who are bugging me. :) The thing that is stressing me right now is the constant backbiting and complaining that is happening within this workplace of adults. We should all know better than this by now...but even I find myself getting sucked in to the negativity when someone complains against me and I feel the insane need to defend myself. I want to be able to just walk away. I want to set a goal every day I walk into work to stay out of the complaining, gossiping, childish fault-finding that happens. It's causing too much stress.

I've been studying natural healing. I believe that stress causes a multitude of problems with your physical body. Recently, the acne on my face took a nasty turn and my knees have started to hurt to the point that I feel like a very old woman who can't get up from a crouching position without wincing in pain. I looked into a book called, "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay. She suggests that acne comes from a negative self image. Funny enough, my Dad said the same thing when I talked to him a couple of weeks ago. Louise Hay says that acne is cured by telling yourself every day that you are beautiful. My Dad said a lady he knows was able to clear her acne by doing essentially the same thing. Now...looking in the mirror and saying to myself, "you are beautiful" seems like such an easy thing to do. It was actually so foreign to me that I couldn't bring myself to do it for about 3 days. I found it easier to accept when I said it like this: "you are a beautiful and loving person". Every time I look in the mirror, I try to say this...and the acne seems like less of a problem to me. It may be that I am seeing myself in a more loving way....and/or it may be that the acne is slowly leaving. I don't know yet. I'm going to keep trying.

As far as the knees, Lousie Hay says that your knees symbolize flexibility in your life. She says that knee pain comes from resisting change or being stubborn. I immediately asked myself, "what am I resisting?" The biggest thing I see is work problems. Instead of being flexible and helpful, I am being stubborn and very firm in my path. I have to believe that this stubborness is causing the terrible knee pain, because it seems to be relieved when I think positive and forgiving thoughts about the complainers at work...and worsen on days like today when I'm here at work and "can't escape" the complainers or ignore their phone calls. :)

This may sound crazy to some people...but I believe it is a truth that stress causes bodily harm, and I believe that once I can truly forgive and learn to deal with this set of stresses that the knee pain will go away.

So, now that I've put this out into public view...I'm going to make it my goal to not complain when I am at work, and to leave my work issues at the door. Instead of complaining, I will be helpful and enthusiastic in my work and realize that I will never measure up to "their" expectations. I will only answer phone calls from complainers when I am at work and being paid to listen to their compaints. When I hear a complaint, I will do my best to help fix the problem, if it is within my realm of possibilities. If it is not, I will pass it along to someone who can do it better....with a good attitude. :)

I can feel the pain leaving as my attitude gets better. :)

Namaste